Sunday 9 January 2011

Goose and moose and apple juice!

So I finally took my revenge on next door today.  My next door neighbour, ever since we moved in just over two years ago, has insisted on playing mainly rubbish music through the wall loud enough so we can sing along.  This began on the very first night we moved in and yes, many times did we ask him to shut up or turn it down, and he was very nice and apologetic and turned it off or down straight away.  And then conveniently the next time he plays music he's completely forgotten about our conversation.

Now Jamie isn't a bad chap, he rescued next door's cat Badger from under his wardrobe where the silly little quadruped had hidden himself on his first trip into the outside world after going back into the wrong house.  He took Badger up and down the street looking for his owners and finally brought him to me and I took him home.  Poor little fella was actually shaking from fear.  So he's a nice guy and we posted him a christmas card through and all that malarky.  In fact we've considered making him a mix CD and posting that through so at least he's playing decent music through our walls.


J has lost it a couple of times and gone upstairs and put on some thrash rock or Bon Jovi and played it back through the walls to make a point; extremely proud that his computer speakers are louder than Jamie's speakers.  Jamie never learns though, he turns the music off and next time he puts on music he's back to his old tricks.

What Jamie and J didn't know until today is that MY hi-fi system and speakers are louder and BOTH of theirs put together.  And my music collect is a lot more interesting. 

Following something of a row this morning I was sat upstairs with a book and a screaming headache trying to drown my sorrows by reading some Dan Brown.  Jamie was happily playing his crap through the wall and THEN he puts on the most disgustingly repetative, insanely annoying hip hop song I've ever heard.  And could I concentrate on my book?  I read the page I was on four times before I decided to just give up and wait until the song finished.  And then as soon as the song finished playing...

He put it on repeat and played it again.

And as soon as the second run through of the song finished...

He put it on AGAIN.

I had had enough.  I dusted off my little used hi-fi system and plugged it in.  I riffled through my CD collection and looked for Bolero.  I couldn't find Bolero.  I found something better.  I plugged three CD's into the selector, turned the volume up to +30 and pressed play.  And ran.

The good news is that J and I made up after our fight.  Unfortunately for our eternal souls we did it by standing at the bottom of the staircase with big smiles on our faces and our hands on the bannister rail marvelling at just how much the soundtrack from Brassed Off makes the house vibrate.

After the William Tell Overture I showed mercy and turned off the hi-fi system.  We enjoyed a blissful silence for about half an hour when the silly bugger PUT THAT SONG BACK ON.

So I treated him to some of Radiohead's earlier work for a while; I band I might mention that not only has teh 'cut-your-wrists-factor' but has the densist baseline in the know universe.  I did consider leaving it playing while we went out...  I didn't however, as a gesture of good faith, and by the time we got home he'd piped down and turned his music off.

I'm not usually this vindictive but he chose exactly the wrong afternoon to be the most annoying and thoughtless man in the entirety of West Yorkshire.  Consider yourself well and truely spanked Jamie.

Spent a pleasent evening watching more Derren Brown.  We kicked off with the documentary, went on to The Heist (truely awesome) and finished off by re-watching Enigma - the live show we caught the other night.  It's sad but we enjoy re-watching the live shows and trying to pick them apart and see where he's used sly phrases and slight of mouth to program the audience.  We noticed a few clever tricks but not much.  The show was just as enjoyable the second time round in only a few days; it still made us laugh out loud and shout at the telly in astonishment and disbelief.  Love that guy.


Tafadhali - Please

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